Another Weird Tale from the Dyed-N-Gone-t’Heaven

Seida BaconLord, Child! I bet y’all think I done fell off the edge of the earth, hadn’t ya? Well there ain’t been much to talk about ’round these parts, ‘cept the usual gutter gossip y’all know I love so much.

Y’all know I would never, never ever break the sanctity of the beauty parlor (where the sacred bond between beautician and client is stronger than that doctor/patient thing they’re always blabbing away about on the TV) but this dirt is too good not to tell… so I’ll just change the names of the not-so-innocent. Continue reading

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Happy Pi Day y’all!

This gallery contains 10 photos.

Today is March 14, and I’m told it’s Pi-without-an-E day (my nephew tried to ‘splain it to me, but when he starts talking about math, my eyes glaze over.) I don’t care, but any excuse to eat pie is fine … Continue reading

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Mickey Dee’s New Value Menu

On my way home from the diner last night there was a long line snaking out the door of the Mickey Dee’s…. “Hallelujah! Monopoly is back” is what I thought, until I pulled around and saw this sign. Must be on the 99¢ menu. You know how all the young men in the neighborhood like to save.

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Trailer Trash Toile fabric collection

This gallery contains 15 photos.

My new collection of “Trailer Trash Toile” fabrics is now available for sale on Spoonflower!  

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And then there were Eight (plus DC)!

Rainbow States by Seida Bacon © 2012 SeidaBacon.com

Now that Maryland has joined the ranks of US States (plus Washington DC) that have come to their senses and made Marriage Equality the law of the land, I’ve updated my Rainbow States design at the Bacon Bits Boutique!

Click on the image above to see this design on t-shirts, cards and invitations, bags, and tons more.

Love ya, Hon!

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VOTE now for my ‘Trailer Trash Toile’ fabric!

Aw, hon… I know it’s been a coon’s age since I posted anything here. I’m sorry to neglect y’all, but truth is, there ain’t been much to yak about ’round here.

But today I got sumpin’ special… I got a design (on fabric) that celebrates my Poor White Trash heritage… Trailer Trash Toile. (Yeah, I didn’t know what “toile” was either until I looked it up, and then I realized I’d seen it everywhere.) Continue reading

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New BACON! items in the Bacon Bits Boutique

As I mentioned in my previous post, yesterday I released a new line of Bacon-themed items at the Bacon Bits Boutique! Here’s a few highlights from the collection… to see everything, head on over to the BACON! section of my online shop.

BACON! Customizable Mug mug
BACON! Customizable Mug by seidabacon
“I take bacon grease in my coffee”

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New BACON! collection of fabric now available on Spoonflower

BACON!, © 2012 SeidaBacon.com. All rights reserved.Ever since I opened up my own online shop (Bacon Bits Boutique), I’ve wanted to cash in on make use of the coincidence of my last name and the surge in popularity of everybody’s favorite breakfast meat… but I just couldn’t find the right high-res photos of bacon to use.

So, FINALLY I cooked up a batch of bacon and took my own photos… I thought I was going to have to lay the bacon right on the scanner to get decent shots, but luckily I didn’t have to resort to that!

It took me a while (read: all day long) to figure out how to make the pattern repeat without any obvious joins at the edges… but I finally did it! I’ve seen lots (and lots and lots…) of Bacon design fabric (etc.) but none of them repeats in the way my pattern does!

BACON! fabric, © 2012 by SeidaBacon.com, available only at Spoonflower

I just posted this fabric pattern to Spoonflower, so it isn’t available quite yet.
[UPDATE 2/23/2012: The BACON! Collection is now available for purchase at Spoonflower.com!]

But what would you do with yards of bacon? I invision somebody making a whole suit out of it (like in David Byrne’s True Stories)… it’s like Bacon Camouflage! Bacon sheets or curtains would be nice too.

Look for a whole slew of new BACON! products with this design over at the Bacon Bits Boutique, too… I’ll feature those in my next post here.

Love ya, Hon!

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NEW! BIGOT brand liquid helps you WASH THE HATE AWAY! (Now with extra ersatz!)

BIGOT Wash the Hate Away! © 2012 SeidaBacon.com

My new ERSATZ product for WASHING AWAY THE HATE! Available only at the Bacon Bits Boutique. Scroll down for more.

NEW! Available only at the Bacon Bits Boutique!

BIGOT brand liquid helps you WASH THE HATE AWAY!
(And after watching the Republican Primary Debates,
I think I know some folks who could order this in 55 gal. drums!)

My new cleanser has EXTRA ERSATZ, and comes with the
FRESH SCENT OF ENLIGHTENMENT!

Get some today! You’ll wonder how you lived without for so long.

Continue reading

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Seida gets her funny-bone tickled

Seida BaconI’m sorry for my temporary absence from this here bloggy-thing, y’all… Seida’s been working a lot of double shifts at the diner lately, tryin’ to save some extra Christmas cash. But I do wanna tell y’all this quick story that happened last night… (names have been changed to protect the guilty):

After a long, long day’s work waiting on folks at the diner, me and one of my girlfriends decided to hang out and unwind. So I went over to her house to help decorate her little tree. She’s all alone in her house on account of her husband is deployed in Iraq (although he’s *supposed* to be coming home in time for Christmas, we’re still not sure he’s gonna make it.) She lives in a suburban tract house just outside Denton, so I always feel like I’m visiting the emperor’s palace when I visit… I get so used to the wind rocking my double-wide back and forth that I sometimes get a little queasy in a house that don’t move. Continue reading

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